#LUTHER VANDROSS SONGS TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE TO PLUS#
So two plus years go by and we get engaged. Many laughed because I am not one to say that lightly, or to say it that soon, but I knew it. Shit! Well, two weeks into knowing him I told many of you that he was the man I was going to marry. From time to time when I was down and missing my dad I would get upset realizing that the main reason I was sad I would never get married was because I wouldn’t have those moments with him, my dad, one of my best friends.Īnd then I met Boyd. So I didn’t really think about getting married anymore. They weren’t (all) bad guys, they just weren’t for me for forever.
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I had dated a lot of men and none of them were right.
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Then I went through some years of accepting I wasn’t ever going to get married. But please also know I have always been SO HAPPY for you in those moments and have loved getting to experience them with you. If any of you are reading this please know that I tried not to cry, I tried not to think about it, it just happened. After he passed away every time I have seen a friend walk down an aisle with their father or have their dance together I have done EVERYTHING in my power not to make it about me. Those memories of those moments together would never become a reality and it was crushing. But I also remember my response as I was heading from their garage into the house, “Don’t tell me that! I haven’t walked down an aisle yet!” That’s the one thing I saw blurring away into the distance when I knew he was going to die. It’s one of the many reasons I love her so much. I remember my mom telling me to “have faith” and that “miracles happen” when he was sick. That was IT! Truly! Those are the only few things I knew for sure would happen one day if I ever got married: I would walk down an aisle with my dad, my mom would sob and be so happy, seeing her would make me cry harder, and eventually my dad and I would dance to “You look wonderful tonight”. Honestly, the only thing I thought about was walking down the aisle arm in arm with my dad, seeing my mom in the front row with alligator tears in her eyes and a big smile on her face and then what my dad and I would dance our father/daughter dance too. I didn’t spend my whole life thinking about it, what my dress would look like, the colors, etc. I was always boy crazy but they never really had interest in me so I didn’t ever think of getting married. I didn’t like to be called Laura because it reminded me of ballerinas not soccer players. I didn’t love dolls, I hated the color pink, I wanted to be in Umbros and Sambas (look them up if you don’t know) playing with boys on the playground. But I also wasn’t a typical girl in the stereotypical way young girls are so often viewed. I was a daddy’s girl…still am to be honest. So much so that I need to pause for a moment as I type because even typing that makes it hard for my wet eyes to see the screen.
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Like many girls in this world, I was the poster child for “Daddy’s Girl”. (But that’s a whole different post, chapter, book for that matter, for a different day.) As most of you know, or maybe those of you around that world that sometimes visit my blog from time to time may not know, my father passed away August 29, 2009. It’s funny how funny society begins to act then. Ya see, this all stems off of another weird life changing event: losing a parent when you’re quite young. I could write on and on with how I feel about most of that, but I’m sure I’m guilty as well when it wasn’t me and I’d prefer not to feel guilty tonight ? Instead, I’m going to write about one specific question (well, two really) that I feel I need to explain better to the rest of society so they don’t see the need to ask anymore.
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Society begins to act funny towards you, everyone wants to know your business, some even know your future better than you apparently, and advice just flows like chocolate at Willy Wonka’s house. Getting engaged is a very weird thing, for so many reasons. – Dance with my Father Again, by Luther Vandross I’d play a song that would never ever end